Speak and Spell

I guess you'd have caught me out if I'd have claimed last week's post as my own writing. After all, everyone knows I'm more Pzizz than iPod.

Moving on from there:

Being involved, as I am, with this art-producing and consuming thing, I thought it was time I exploded this whole myth, laid bare the bones, and revealed the emperor for the naked that he is. To that end, I present an early draught of my soon-to-be-published art-speak lexicon, which is guaranteed to steer you safely through both this site's archives and your collection of Art South Africa back issues.

Makes reference to: looks like, but not enough to infringe copyright
Alludes to: looks like, but not that much due to lack of proficiency
Evokes: makes the mind wonder
Metaphor: long word for 'five'
Medium: smart word for poster paint. Rhymes with 'tedium'
Mixed media: lots of different kinds of poster paint, some of which we can't spell
Installation: in the way
Situationism: you had to be there
Relational: an in-joke
The Other: not you, burk!
The Gaze: some of my best friends... blah blah blah

And we love a bit of foreign language:

Zeitgeist: trendy
Flaneur: lazy bugger, in winter pyjamas
Tromp l'oeil: French TV programme from the 70s, dubbed into Afrikaans
Triptych: three times as irritating

I leave you with that as I must hasten to conclude preparations for next week's exposition. Now, where'd I leave my whalesong CD?